“As a child, I Thought of Iran as the Magical Land of Shahrzad,” Says the Spouse of Indian Ambassador to Iran.

Mrs. Smriti Srivastav had a golden time growing up in the green, beautiful city of Bangalore, aka the Garden City of India, and finds her best moments and memories marked in the childhood house and among her family members. Owning an emotional, nice spirit, she walked down the aisle to marry Mr. Saurabh Kumar. She does not view her first meeting as love at the first sight and thinks of love as what smoothly paved its way into her life and found its place right after. Mrs. Srivastav enrolled at Dehkhoda Institute for Persian Language and learned Farsi in a year from their arrival in Iran, which has vastly contributed to her interactions and friendships with Iranians as well as her understanding of the rich Iranian culture. We had the chance to have a friendly conversation with Mrs. Smriti Srivastav regarding the ancient Indian traditions and rituals coupled with the commonalities between the two countries which you may find below.

AVA Diplomatic’s Exclusive Interview with

Smriti Srivastav, the Spouse of the Indian Ambassador to Iran

Interview by Mohammadreza Nazari 

First and foremost, please tell us where in India you were born and how you spent your youth?

I was born in Lucknow., the capital of the northern state of Uttar Pradesh but grew up in the southern city of Bangalore where my father worked as the Executive director of the Indian Telephone Industries, one of the leading public sector companies of India. I had a privileged upbringing and was fortunate to recognize, appreciate and embrace the rich cultural diversity of India at a very early age. Having being exposed to cultures of both Northern and Southern India. I grew up without any prejudices and was happy to call myself a South Indian girl who was born in the North to North Indian Parents.

What memories do you still carry from your life in Bangalore?

The Bangalore that I grew up in was a beautiful city. With abundance of greenery and natural beauty, it was aptly called the Garden City of India.  I am the eldest of 3 children and together with my brother and sister, we had the most wonderful childhood.  My parents put in effort to raise us and my fondest memories are those spent at home bonding with family.  Those were truly happy days when one could spend hours chasing butterflies or simply laze on the green grass under the shade of our mango tree, reading a book. Every place in our garden could potentially transform into a picnic spot with my mother getting us freshly made goodies straight from the kitchen. Today Bangalore has expanded into a bustling metropolitan city often referred to as the Silicon Valley of India. Gardens have given way to skyscrapers and carefree early morning strolls have given way to purposeful strides, yet every now and then the old reveals itself and stands tall next to the new and I still love this city which I call my home.

Did you have any particular hobbies as a child?

Yes many, reading, writing, singing and acting to name a few. Throughout my school days I was a part of a street theatre group and enjoyed taking part in dramas and plays.

What are some of the handicrafts that Bangalore is known for?

Bangalore is the capital of the southern state of Karnataka which is famous for its silk sarees, sandal wood artifacts and also home to the largest number of manufacturers of Incense sticks which are exported all over the world.

What field did you study in college?

I majored in Zoology and then moved on to the field of Ecological Sciences at the post graduate level. Months after I got married, I realized that a career as a Biologist may not be the best profession for me as the wife of a diplomat who had decided to follow her husband. Since I was very young, all doors were open for me. I enrolled myself in a Bachelor of Education program and trained to be an educator instead, a profession that I was able to pursue wherever we went.  I subsequently trained to deliver the International Baccalaureate program (IB) and taught Biology to pre-university students in various international schools around the world.

When and where did you get to meet Mr. Ambassador? How long did it take before you two tied the matrimonial knot?

I am a strong believer in destiny. As they say, if things are meant to be, heavens conspire to make them happen. The year was 1986. I was a high school student. There was a wedding in the family and my parents had decided to go to Lucknow to attend. My sister and I were undecided but after some coaxing I relented and agreed to go. Didn’t realize at that time how this decision of mine would determine the future that lay ahead of me. In that wedding, I met my would be mother in law. She spoke at length about her son, an Engineering student who was studying at the prestigious Indian Institute of Technology, equivalent to your Sharif University here. I do not know how interested I was in the son but his mother definitely looked charming! In 1989, my husband qualified to join the Indian Foreign Service and shortly after that we received a marriage proposal from his family. Our first meeting was a short one in the presence of our families. We subsequently met many times as my husband decided to do some part of his compulsory district training in a town close to Bangalore. The times we couldn’t meet, we wrote letters to each other and spoke on the phone. This lasted for a year till we got married.  It wasn’t love at first sight but rather love crept in slowly and steadily in our lives.

Please explain to us about marital rituals and traditions in India

India is a multi religious, multi cultural country and as such rituals and customs vary in different regions. However weddings in India are long drawn out affairs often spreading over days.  Many ceremonies have found universal acceptance across all religions and regions of India . One such example is the Henna ceremony where the hands and feet of the bride are adorned with intricate Henna designs prior to the wedding. “Sangeet” is another important part of most Indian weddings these days. An evening before the wedding is devoted to singing and dancing. Families of both the bride and groom are present. It is an informal way to get to know each other and break the ice.

Was your marriage also based on the traditions you spoke of?

Ours was beautiful wedding according to Vedic traditions in the presence of a Hindu priest. It started at midnight and finished at the crack of dawn. We took our vows around the holy fire amidst chanting of Sanskrit   mantras from our ancient texts.  It was surreal and beautiful.

 Please elaborate on the ritual of circling around fire in a wedding ceremony.

That is a very beautiful part of a traditional Hindu wedding where the bride and bridegroom circle around the fire seven times amidst chanting of mantras from the Vedas. They take seven vows after which the marriage is complete. For Hindus, Fire is a symbol of purity and “Agni” the god of Fire serves as a witness to the wedding.

How important are the good wishes and consent of parents in a religious marriage in India?

Religious or not, I believe consent and good wishes of parents are of paramount importance to us. Indian society places parents on a very high pedestal. In fact a recurring theme in many of our Bollywood films is about a boy and girl who like each other trying to convince their parents to agree to their marriage. The “happily ever after” ending happens when consent is finally given!

 What traditional rituals are still in practice in proposal sessions to a bride?

Proposals are always initiated by families rather than individuals. In India we consider marriage as not just a union of two people but rather that of two families. Proposal rituals as such involve every member of the family and each of them has a unique role to play.

There is a tradition in Iran that the parents of the bride agree to purchase a couple’s home appliances. Is there such tradition in India, too?

World over, traditions have evolved over time and India is no exception. What was applicable during my grandmother’s time was not during mine. However Gold has always played a very important role in Indian weddings. Gold Jewellery is given to the bride by both her parents and in laws.  Regarding home appliances, it largely depends on where the young couple decide to stay. If they are in the same town or city, parents might assist  them  in setting up their new home by providing them the basics

Why do Indian women apply red powder in the parting of their hair?

Applying Vermilion or Sindoor by married women is an age old Hindu tradition. It is applied for the first by the husband during the marriage ceremony. Red is very auspicious colour for us and sindoor which is red in colour is a mark of a married woman.  Traditionally it was made from natural materials like turmeric and lime and was said to have medicinal benefits as well.

Is there any specific ritual for naming a child in India?

I can tell you about Hindus. We follow the lunar calendar and babies are named according to their birth star or astrological configuration at the time of birth.  Naming ceremony is called “Namkaran” and is a very important ritual in India.

How were your children named?

We could not have a traditional “Namkaran” ceremony for our children, as we were posted out of India. However prior to their birth, my husband and I had decided on Sanskrit names for them which were taken from our ancient texts. We named our elder daughter  Sugandha , a Sanskrit word for fragrance. She looks a lot like her father and his name “Saurabh” in Sanskrit also means fragrance.  Our younger one  is called Sanjana which means gentle, a name that suits her well.

 Where and what  do your children study?

Both  Sugandha and Sanjana  study Economics and are university students in England.

Please tell us about the events and celebrations held annually in India.

India is multi religious, multi cultural, secular country. We celebrate festivals of different faiths with equal fervor.  Diwali,  Eid, Christmas and Gurupurab (an important festival of the Sikhs),  are all celebrated in India. Besides these that you are familiar with, we celebrate many more festivals in different parts of the country. India is a big country, our list of all the festivals is endless!

Do Indian people celebrate the New Year like Europeans?

New Year is celebrated at different times in different regions of Indian in accordance with our traditional calendar. In most states it is in the months of March or April., often coinciding with the harvesting of crops. For some states like Gujrat, the festival of Diwali  which falls in October or November, heralds the New Year.  Since India also follows the Gregorian Calendar, we celebrate  1^st of January as well.

India had long been a colony of the UK. How much were Indian traditions and rituals affected by this?

Traditions and customs are ancient and deep rooted in us. They are so much a part of us that no external factor can change that. During colonial times our customs and traditions   remained alive within us, within our homes.

Considering your sociable spirit, how much have you been successful in interacting with Iranian people?

After coming to Iran the first thing I did was to enroll myself at the Dehkhoda  language Institute where I studied Farsi for a year. It was the best decision I could have made. Knowing the language opened many doors for me both in terms of making a lot of Iranian friends as well as understanding your rich culture.

Some feminists in the world are trying to win the rights of women and are on the belief that enjoying the right to divorce is essential to form a family. How much do you agree with them?

Families are formed on the basis of mutual love and trust between partners. Having said that, I do believe in equal rights for both men and women including the right to divorce.

What countries have you been to with your husband?

Hong Kong, China, Indonesia, Fiji Islands, Italy; these are some of the countries where we stayed but other than that I have visited a lot more during my travels from the place where we were posted.

As a wife to a diplomat, you have been to different countries. In your opinion, in what fields do Indian women have more capabilities and can grow more?

Indian women through the ages have exhibited exemplary qualities and have excelled in almost every field when given the opportunity.  Modern Indian women are very qualified and educated. However access to education is still not easy for our women in villages and smaller towns. To harness their full potential it is very important that  steps be taken to ensure that even women from rural India are able to study and get the same opportunities as their city counterparts.

When did you come to Iran? Had you visited Iran before that?

I came to Iran two years ago. I had not been here before.

What differences does your current image of Iran have from that you held initially?

As a child growing up in India, I always believed Persia to be that magical land where Princess Shahrazad, the protagonist of One thousand and one Nights lived. As I grew older, I read about the historical  links that existed between our two countries. Like all Indians, my image of Iran was that of a fascinating, culturally rich country with a very old civilization. On a different note, I had also heard that Iranian girls are the most beautiful in the world. Iran surpassed all my expectations when I actually got here. It offered everything that I had expected and much more! The girls were indeed beautiful  but what stood out was how qualified, educated and accomplished they were and in no way less than their male counterparts.

How do you spend your spare time here in Iran?

For me there is never a dull moment in Iran. I have travelled extensively throughout your country and have even visited some of the places that do not typically find themselves on the tourist map. My travels have been invaluable learning experiences for me. The history that I had only studied about comes alive during my travels. With my knowledge of Farsi I am able to freely interact with local people and am fascinated by how much we have in common. I also utilize my time in learning traditional Persian art forms.

Have you been to Tehran heights for skiing with Mr. Ambassador?

Unfortunately not!  Will definitely do so before we leave.

You are a DLA member. What are some of the activities of this group?

DLA headed by Madame Zarif, has been actively involved in exposing us to the rich cultural heritage of your beautiful country. Time and again various programs are organized which help us in gaining first hand understanding about your customs, festivals and rituals as well as handicrafts from different provinces of Iran. Besides this, DLA also conducts classes for learning traditional Persian arts and crafts. I have learnt the technique of glass painting and sermeh doozi and have benefitted immensely from my interactions with DLA members.

There is an annual fair in Tehran where Indian handicrafts and history are displayed. Can holding an annual exhibition lead to strengthening cultural ties between the two countries?

Certainly.  However we need a lot more people to people interaction. Enhancing tourism is one way. Exchanges between university students of both our countries could be another. I think there is no substitute for first- hand experience.

Which places should Iranian people visit in India to see its architecture?

Mughal architecture which is greatly influenced by Persian architecture can been seen in monuments like the Taj Mahal and other historical sites from the Mughal era which you can mainly find in northern cities like Delhi, Lucknow and Agra. To see our Hindu temple architecture, a visit to some of the ancient cities in Southern  India is a must. Beautiful temples with intricate stone carvings have stood the test of time. They are not just places of worship but rather architectural marvels unmatched in their workmanship.

What commonalities are there between Iran and India in terms of their religion and culture?

There are many things that we share in common. We are both ancient civilizations with historical links. There are similarities in language, customs and traditions. In fact Sanskrit and old Persian, Avestan were closely related and common religious practices were also found during that time. Nature worship with importance being given to the sun god or Mithra was predominant in both religions. Infact it is said that there are many similarities between the Rig Veda, the ancient text of the Hindus and the Avesta of the Zoroastrians. After coming here I realized that Hindi and Farsi also share many common words differing only in their pronunciation. During my travels in Iran I have noticed that even some traditional art forms like kalamkar or meenakari can be found in both countries. It is indeed fascinating!

I appreciate the time you ascribed to this interview with us. I hope you receive all that is good during your time in Iran

Thank you so much.